Cook the Chaos | Rumours and Jobs

roll 1d6 for each location, or choose whichever one takes your fancy!

1. the town

1. A dagger and a book. “Y’all seen our big statue? Funny thing I tells ya, other day it was shifted right o’er the other side of town. Not one soul knows how it got there! Anyway, the statue, it’s of our great almighty hero, yon lass wot formed the settlement here that became the town. No idea what she called herself, but her wee stabber? Made of the purist of gold. Whole thing’s guarded every day, every night. But yup, last week her stabber vanishes, turns up outside the temple wedged slap bang in the sign o’er our beloved deity’s name. Even more curious, priest’s sayin’ one of their ancient book’s been stolen from the temple library. Who knows what’s up!”

2. Orc mercenaries. “Better watch out there. There’s this rowdy band of roughnecks in town. Stayin’ at the inn they are. Someone says they’re on the lookout for more mercenaries for some big monster hunt. Thing is, no-one fancies helpin’ them as they’re helpin’ themselves to every darn thing they set their eyes on. Bleedin’ the town dry they are!”

3. Taxing problem. “Yeah, you heard me right, the town’s started usin’ these brutes to steal all our hard-earned coin. Tax collection for some war no-one’s even heard about. We ain’t havin’ it – there’s gonna be a riot if they ain’t careful, you can be sure of that!”

4. Fire! “Over at the marketplace – the whole place is lit up. I heard the thieves’ guild started it deliberately. But there might be folks trapped, and the shore’s too far for the water, so by the time you get to the place it’ll be pretty crispy!”

5. Training Day. “I heard they’re lookin’ for experienced combat trainers & folks learned in the arcane. You know, after the...incident. No-one’s left up there you know, the little blighters! Anyway, it’s a job, right? An’ by all accounts, they pay per poor soul you manage to convince to try it again.”

6. Body parts galore. “Wanted: body parts for research. Will pay extra for pristine limbs. No longer accepting frother ears.”

2. the deep

1. Diving right in. “Hardy souls needed to swim to the shore bed of the deep and retrieve an overturned rowboat. Meet at first light. Learned in magicks if possible.”

2. Haunted disembarking. “Not a chance am I goin’ near that shore again. Last I heard, some ship berthed there an’ suddenly the whole place is rife with spirits. Won’t be long before they get tired of all the ghost fish an’ head into town to eat our brains!”

3. Stricken youngling. “He was yellin’ somethin’ about his beloved pet bein’ stranded, down in yon cave at the beach. Says the tide’s come in an’ he can’t get to it. Thing is, I never even knew he had a pet!”

4. Fish folk. “Yes sirree, they were folk like you an’ me, but with heads like fish, huge spears, an’ they were just stridin’ out from the deep like they’d not a care in the world. Don’t know what came of them, but someone told my good lady there was smoke seen the other day, like from a campfire, right on the rocks at the end of the shore. But thing is, they’re cuttin’ off our supplies from the trade boats – we’re starvin’ here!”

5. Eagles nest. “Massive birds they are, just massive. An’ they’ve built this nest on the rocks along the shore. But I saw it with my own eyes, it was glintin’ in the sun. Whatever it is, it’s pricey, an’ it’s just sittin’ right there on the nest. Them wingers, they ain’t there all the time you know!”

6. Elemental issues. “Oh no-one has a clue. It’s like every time our supply ships try to navigate the shallow waters, the wind just picks right up an’ forces them back out to sea. It’s like the wind’s gott a mind of its own!”

3. the woods

1. Spiderfest. “Oh I tells ya, hundreds of them there were. Huge to boot. I heard some of them were spotted savagin’ live goats in the woods outside town. More than that though, apparently some weird figure was seen directin’ them, like they were followin’ orders or somethin’!”

2. Missing without a trace. “I just don’t know where she is. Ever since the other day, you know, all those folk judgin’ her, an’ how she looked at me. She just ran off an’…I just want her back. ‘tween you an me, I thinks she’s got a hidin’ place in the woods.”

3. A sullen glade. “Right in the ol’ clearin’ bang centre in the woods. Everythin’ all around it absolutely the same. Like, exactly the same, the trees, all them leaves swayin’ in the breeze, in unison, but right there in the clearin’, right in the centre, dead. Everythin’ dead. Well when he told me, I tells ya, his last dyin’ breath, he made it darn clear, magic nuggets or not, I should stay the hell away from that clearin’!”

4. Missing hunters. “Missing out of town hunters. Guild will pay for return of their belongings. Last seen entering the woods in search for prized curiosity.”

5. Hovels and mounds. “Reports of frother or similar creature activity in the woods. Great mounds of earth appearing at the wood edge, suspicion of mine construction and activities dangerous to the town.”

6. Tree-mendous influence. “Well I heard after he murdered him, his own beloved husband, he started screamin’ about how the trees told him to do it. Thing is, an’ I didn’t tell you this, but a young farm girl down the road there, just the other day mind, she was heard sayin’ somethin’ like ‘the trees speak & I listen’, before she just walked right out of town at night, her tracks leadin’ to the woods. You ever heard the like?”

4. the ruins

1. Strange dwellers. “Well, I’d never go there. Everyone says the ruins are haunted. But there’s been strange things happenin’ there lately. It’s a big estate mind, but whatever’s goin’ on there, we don’t know what we’d do if it spread to town!”

2. The darkness within. “She used to be so nice as well. Her mind, so curious, brilliant with all that alchemy stuff. Never knew when to stop though. Word is she’s made somethin’, like, you know, an alive somethin’. Don’t know whether she meant to or if the havoc it’s been up to’s been out of her control. Someone said she was gonna take it to the ruins out the way – if she gets there alive I’ll be shocked!”

3. Blights & vines. “Gardening workers required. The old manor ruins have become overgrown with vines. Beware reports of strange movements in the foliage. Estate beneficiaries seek workers to clear and tidy the estate grounds before construction work begins. Payment on completion.”

4. Religious rumbling. “All I know is, no-one’s lived there for years. An’ now suddenly it’s like they own the place. All those strange culty robes an’ chantin’. An’ rumblin’, yeah, rumblin’ on the ground beneath the estate. They’re up to somethin’ there, you mark my words!”

5. Nesting time. “It was massive. I mean, I ain’t seen anythin’ that big lift itself from the ground, but it flew right over me. Thought I was a gonner. But it just flew past, an’ I watched it circle the ruins before it landed there, surveyin’ the place like it owned it. Yup, I bolted an’ never looked back!”

6. Bad Lightning. “I asks you, you ever seen lightnin’ light up the sky but leave everythin’ below in darkness? Like, it makes it darker? I saw it with my own eyes. Them ruins all but disappeared when that lightnin’ struck. An’ the lightnin’ hit nothin’ else but them ruins. An’ then, as the skies cleared, them ruins lit up themselves. Like they’d sucked the lightnin’ right out the skies. An’ that colour. It looked like no colour of light I’d ever seen!”

5. the caverns

1. Security job. “Security needed for trek to the caverns. No thieves. No questions. Half up front, half on safe return.”

2. Tunnels beneath. “I mean, there used to be mines down there, or catacombs. Somethin’ anyways. All those tunnels, this way an’ that. They could be right beneath our feet right now I tells ya! But yeah, my old man, he saw them go in. He never saw them come out again. All them youngins, an’ mark my words, they could be lost forever more down in them tunnels!”

3. Treasure down deep. “I’m sure the town could do with some of them coins & goodies down there anyway…What’s that? You never heard the tale? Well you’d be right to learn it an’ then forget ever hearin’ it, cause those that don’t, they get this look in their eye, right? You know, the one with gold in it? An’ then there’s no stoppin’ them. At least, well, at least until they’re stopped by whatever the hell lurks down there!”

4. The Summoning. “Who knows what it is, but it’s well an’ truly comin’ for us. We’ve all been dreamin’ it. Well, nightmarin’ it. All the same nightmare. An’ it’s comin’ from them caverns you betcha. You gotta stop it before it gets us!”

5. Bandit hideout. “They’ve been raidin’ travellers for weeks now, an’ everyone knows they’re hidin’ out in the caverns. But why the town guard ain’t doin’ anythin’ about it I don’t know. Maybe they’re in league with them!”

6. Subterranean springs. “Adventurers wanted. Underground spring rumoured to contain healing properties in the caverns. Reward per sample size recovered.”

6. the wilderness

1. Don’t go out there. “I mean, I get why you’re headin’ out there, but you’re crazy. You know that, right?!! Wherever you step outside the town walls, these days you’re takin’ your life in your hands. There’s all numbers of death-bringin’ creatures out there. If I were you, I’d down that ale an’ think no more of it!...But, well if you see that tower I was on about...”

2. Battle remnants. “Yeah, there was some merchant that talked about it. Said the whole field was littered with corpses. All from some war years ago. An’ then when he travelled back again, all gone. Not a sign of them. Thing is, speak to the wrong folx around these parts an’ they’ll tell you they hear sounds of fightin’ carryin’ in the wind at night!”

3. Dig site. “Strong folx wanted for local dig on the south road. Must have no family. All gear, weapons, and armour supplied. Caravans leave at dawn.”

4. Dancing lights. “She just walked away from me. Got down from the horse, didn’t say a word, an’ just followed them lights. Twinklin’ away they were, an’ she just followed them into the thicket. I couldn’t move an inch. Last I saw her, she turned an’ smiled at me, her eyes the same colour as them lights. An’ then she was gone. I shook myself free, but it was too late.”

5. Mushroom pies. “Well I heard she makes them scrumptious pies from the fungi at the root of yon tree up north, you know the one? Can’t miss it, the biggest I ever seen. An’ all around it, these amazin’ weird-coloured mushrooms. Most of them are poisonous apparently, but the ones she picks, absolutely fine. An’ I ain’t just sayin’ that because I think she’s absolutely fine. I do though. She looks younger an’ more beautiful every time I see her!”

6. Sacked hamlet. “The wilderness is, well, wild you know. Some of them monster hunter folx, they talk about how they saw this entire hamlet out west sacked by creatures they were too petrified to even think about fightin’. Not a soul survived while they hid an’ watched. No-one here cared about that place right enough. All the one family. Well, that’s what they called themselves anyway. ‘nother word for a cult, see. An’ them monster hunters travelled through here like heroes when we heard they’d done nothin’ to save that bunch of strange folk. That hamlet can rot, I say, even if it’s full of all their fancy ol’ artifacts!”

need something quicker?

Here's a trio of generators to create a rumour-riddled NPC the character(s) might meet, and to generate some rumours or jobs with more depth to them that hopefully spark something for you. Just keep clickin' until you see something that might work.

what's next?

Ok, so from here you might want to...

...move onto terrain & weather

...return to the cook the chaos intro

...or double check the rules of the chaos

Remember, though, that you can navigate anywhere on the site using the menus on each page, and if you ever get lost, roll 1d6 and we'll see what perils you encounter!